determination
by Fruityloo
Summary: Rintori Week Day 2: late nights. "Encouragement goes both ways."


"I don't think I could make it as an Olympic swimmer," Nitori said, abruptly changing topics from what they had for lunch to life goals, jarring Rin awake solely from tone whiplash. Until that point Rin was only half paying attention, drifting off as they snuggled on the bottom bunk. It used to be a ritual of theirs, snuggling and chatting (Nitori did most of the chatting) until they were too tired to continue or until the words fell out of their mouths and stopped making sense. Only then would they would sleep, sometimes in their respective bunks, often times not. But it felt like years since they'd done this; the room change threw more of a wrench in their habits than either really expected and certainly more than Rin wanted to admit. Getting used to sleeping alone, without the even breath of Nitori above or beside him was harder than Rin ever could have anticipated. Sosuke breathed too deeply; an even noise with the occasional snore and it wasn't necessarily _annoying_, but Rin hated it all the same. It wasn't Nitori. It wasn't right.

But Momotaro was gone for the weeked, Nitori had the dorm to himself, and they were determined to make the best of it (even if the best of it only meant cuddles and kisses, it was more than enough after being starved of this kind of contact for so long).

It felt strange, sleeping in his bunk but it wasn't _his_ bunk anymore. The bunk belonged to Nitori now, and somehow that knowledge made Rin's stomach flutter.

Rin opened his mouth to protest, to insist that he _could_ make it as an Olympic swimmer; Nitori had more skill than he ever gave himself credit for, and he was always improving; improving faster than Rin, even, with a determination to do well that he'd never seen before.

Rin wanted to assure Nitori of the entire world, but how could he do that when his own self-confidence was shaky at best? He relied on Nitori for moral support more far than a professional athlete probably should and had no business trying to do the same for someone else.

He got so caught up in thought that Nitori went on before he could even get a word in, and so he stayed silent, holding Nitori a little closer than before.

"You're going to do great, Rin," Nitori said, as if sensing his insecurity and Rin would have been blown away by the accuracy if he hadn't experienced it before. "I don't like the pressure, you know?" Rin could have responded, but it was mostly a rhetorical question. They chatted until exhaustion but Nitori almost always did most of the talking, never failing to give Rin the chance to speak but knowing he would rarely take it. He didn't mind keeping silent. The chatter was comforting, something to focus on when his mind was so prone to wandering unpleasantly. "You're amazing under pressure, but I'd probably screw up and cry," he laughed, and it was a little strained but Rin said nothing of it. Nitori was going somewhere with this. As someone who kept mostly to himself, Rin used to feel lost in these conversations; he didn't share like this, not without the right prompting (Nitori had gotten _very_ good at prompting). But Nitori had a habit of talking himself through things, his thoughts messy until he got them out in the open. He used to keep a journal, and it didn't made sense to Rin, but once this because their habit he stopped writing in it. Rin thought maybe he understood.

"But I don't want to stop competing," he said it with such quiet ferocity that Rin's eyes widened, any amount of sleepiness he still felt leaving him in an instant. "I could compete at Sasabe's swim club. Maybe even in one of your sister's muscle competitions," he laughed and this time it sounded less strained, more genuine.

A long silence followed and Rin thought that must be the end of it.

Until Nitori said, in eve more of a whisper than before, "Competing on a national level might be fun," like he couldn't quite believe what he was saying, like he didn't think he could do it. A dream, and Nitori said it with such reverence that Rin felt his chest tighten. The way he spoke, the determination… Rin recognized it. This time he knew that was the end of it.

A younger Rin, the Rin from last year, might have laughed at that. _Fun_? Competing wasn't supposed to be fun. If you're not serious about it, then there's no point. But he learned something from Haru and the others last year, probably the most important thing he would ever learn. _You swim because you want to_.

"Ai," Rin said, breaking the silence. He could feel Nitori jump in his arms and had to fight back a laugh at the skittish response.

"What is it?" Nitori shifted to meet his eyes, sleepy but still lucid and expectant.

Rin felt himself break into a smile, "I know you can do it."

A pause – a long pause and for a moment Rin feared he must have said something wrong. Pep talks weren't his strong point, mostly because he required so many of them himself.

But a moment longer and Nitori's face lit up like the sun. "Thank you!"

They slept well that night.


End file.
